Day 11: We're Free!!!

Sunday, October 8th:

This was the day we were going home!!!!  Well, our Arkansas home on loan from Ms. Connie :)

The nurse told us that we would be out of there by 1pm.  Why did I believe her?  We hurried over to the hospital.

I took an infant CPR course (now terrified that I would ever need to use it!) .

Then we waited.

We signed papers and took off all his leads.

Then we waited.

The nurse said to pull the van around.  I needed to stay with Theo, so Danny took the kids to do just that.

Then, we waited and we waited and we waited.

To keep the kids entertained, Danny let them watch a movie in the van because we thought any minute we might get to leave.  However, the nurse came back to tell me that no one had gotten the birth mom's fingerprint.  A fingerprint?!?!  Now we needed to wait for someone who could give us permission to leave without it.

At one point I went out to relieve Danny and the van would not crank!  The battery had died.  What to do?  Call the only person in Arkansas we know - Ms. Connie!  She came to the rescue once again.  (Don't you think she will get a pretty enormous crown?  Not only did she jump off the van, but she came back in with us and gave the kids Dixie cups to stack (a brilliant time filler), some pumpkin muffins, and an outfit for Theodore.

Right when we had spread ourselves and all 287983 Dixie cups out in the Ronald McDonald House Danny called to say we were free to go!

I think that is one of my favorite feelings - when we are all loaded up in the van.  All my family was together heading out to begin our adventures as a family of 9! 

Day 10: Sibling Love!

Day 10: Saturday, October 7th

We eagerly rushed to the hospital to see if Theodore had gained weight.  He hadn't.  He hadn't even maintained.  He had lost weight.  Bummer!  

So, we were very surprised when the doctor still planned to discharge the next day.  We were told we would need to learn to mix bottles (real rocket science) and they would conduct his hearing and car seat tests.  Other than that we spent the day taking the siblings down one at a time to hold him and visit.  So. much. love!

So in love with her baby.

Loving being a big brother to a brother!

The nurse also let Huck listen to Theo's heart.

When asked if he was finished Eli said, "Probably one more hour."

Sadly, I forgot the camera when Jonah went down, but once he realized that Theo liked to be talked to he told him everything!

It is so amazing to watch our children fall in love with him and accept him as a brother.  God builds families many ways, but I am glad He put this little guy in ours!

Juliet is THREE!!!

Oh, goodness!  Three years ago a precious little girl joined our family.  She added a whole lot of pink and so much joy!  She loves all things babies, can run super fast with her mile-long legs, and colors whole pages (in the lines) with one color.  She likes to lick the spoon while helping cook, make her brothers pretend to be her puppies, and sing at the top of her lungs.  She tells me a million times a day that she will love me forever.  She makes every activity more fun!  I love to watch her little woman ways.  She is happy to bounce a baby doll like I bounce the babies, help give baby baths, and pick out baby clothes.  If I am mopping she grabs a rag.  If I am cooking she grabs a spoon.  She is fierce and passionate about whatever she loves.  I love her so!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULES!!!!!

I love this!  She is telling Eli not to touch the baby!

Now, for her debut interview:


What is your favorite color? pink

What is your favorite toy? My Little Pony - the pink one

What is your favorite fruit? watermelon

What is your favorite TV show? princesses (Ummm . . . she never gets to watch anything slightly girly in this house.)

What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? peanut butter and jelly

What is your favorite thing to wear? leggins

What is your favorite game? Candyland

What is your favorite animal? monkey

What is your favorite snack? marshmallows

What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me

What is your favorite book? I Spy book

What is your favorite cereal? marshmallows in it

What is your favorite thing to do outside? take my baby on a walk

Who is your best friend? Addy - her in CC

What is your favorite drink? lemonade

What is your favorite holiday? Easter

What do you take to bed with you at night? Baby Bear

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? toasty (untoasted raisin bread)

What do you want to be when you grow up? a witch

What do you want for dinner on your birthday? yogurt, applesauce, and meatballs

What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy? hug him

What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy? hug you

What do you pray about? Dear God thank you for our food!

What is your favorite thing about your brothers? I love them!

What is your favorite thing about your sister?  Sing songs to her.

Day 9: Full of Surprises!

Friday, October 6th:

We headed out early to the Amazeum!  It truly was AMAZING!!!  So many activities and hands-on fun for everyone!  There was a life-like grocery store, a mac truck, indoor and outdoor play areas, a water play area, a noise and movie maker room, an old-fashion cabin, and a chocolate lab!  The best part?  They were preparing for a festival and weren't allowing field trips.  We had the place to ourselves!

Little Bit loved all there was to watch!

Jonah was "blown away" by all the cool science activities!

We all loved role playing in the grocery store and diner.

Benaiah conducted a sink float experiment in the chocolate lab!

Her favorite activity was caring for the baby in the cabin.

Through a dark cave in search of bats and gold!

Little spider made it to the top of the web!

Practicing her "J".

Album cover!

Paint, squeegee, paint again!

Color mixing on a bubble wrapped light table!

We played away the whole morning!  While eating our picnic lunch, I got a call from the hospital.  At first, I was anxious about why they would be calling.  Was something wrong?  Far from it!  Over night Theo had done so well taking his bottles that (as long as he gained weight over the weekend) they were taking his feeding tube out and discharging him on Sunday!  What?!?!  Yay!!!!!!

Now, I was in a rush to get to the hospital and cuddle our little Teddy!  Seeing overnight answers to prayers - what a huge reminder that we were in Great Hands!  

Handsome boy freed from the feeding tube!

Hooray!!!

We spent the evening at the hospital finding out all we needed to do to move toward discharge.  It was all so exciting!  Yesterday we had resigned to possibly weeks in the hospital and now we were going home in two days!  Two days!!!

Day 5, 6, 7, and 8: Keeping Busy!

Well, what do you know?  I have gotten behind. Can you believe these kids?!?!  They want three square meals and clean clothes.  Golly!  J

Monday, October 2^nd – Thursday, October 5^th

The next few days were a whirlwind.  Lots of hours at the hospital.   Theodore was eating more and more on his own but the finish line kept being moved as his feeding amount increased.  It was so frustrating because we arrived thinking He is better off than the twins were and they were in for a week, so surely, he will be out in no time.  Then, he would get tired and only get 3mL.  He dropped just below 4 pounds.  Theo was being a rascal and kept pulling his feeding tube out at least once a day.  Breastfeeding was also more difficult for him than a bottle, which was expected.  However, it really hurt my heart that I couldn’t have that bonding time with him.  I hadn’t used a bottle since a short stint with Jonah (7 years ago!).  It felt so foreign. 

He was still in quarantine, so that meant he was closed off from most of the nurses, sounds, and not getting the cuddles he needed most.  It really made us want to be with him 24/7.  Finally, on the Oct. 3^rd they lifted the quarantine!  We were so thankful that we could go without a mask and his siblings could visit with him. 

Throughout these days we found different ways to keep the kids from climbing the walls.  I had the joy of spending more time with the big(ger) kiddos.  I had been missing them so much.  We took lots of trips to the duck pond by the hospital.  Once, the boys even saw a crocodile!  (Wink wink.)  We found a playground down a little walking path from the hospital that we frequented.  My favorite moment from the playground was when Eli came out of the women’s bathroom.  I asked him why and he answered, “Because boy bathrooms are gross!”  True. . .

Danny took them on a trip to Goodwill.  Benaiah found a pirate costume, Jonah picked out a new Lego shirt, Huck got a matching game, Eli chose a bag of Halloween decorations (which quickly beautified the van and Ronald McDonald House), and Juliet was thrilled to find a purple pony.

One evening our neighbors came out to play soccer with the boys.  Since the neighbors were teenagers the boys thought they were big stuff!  They gave the boys soccer balls to carry to the park and taught Jonah how to juggle with his feet. That kept him busy for a good bit J

One day between feedings to we went to an Art Museum.  Honestly, I was scared to death that we would break something with all the energy the kids had, but they were so well behaved.  They each enjoyed creating their own art in the kid zone.  The interactive piece made of candy was a favorite too!

One God-orchestrated moment was meeting a worker at the RMH who was adopted. She was kind enough to open up about her story.  I was able to ask many questions that I wanted answered by someone who was adopted.  How can I best protect Theo from heartache while also embracing what God has done?  Which phrases and questions are hurtful?  What emotions should I be prepared to help him handle?  She was able to recommend books that she thought were spot on and give me Biblical truths that helped her.  I was so thankful for the encounter! 

A big change was hearing from the attorney that we would need to file new papers and change from finalizing in Arkansas to Tennessee.  It would take time to process the papers before we could take him across state lines but we figured as long as Theo was in the NICU we had the days to spare.

I turned 4 months old!

At the end of these days, I came up from the NICU to find Juliet asleep on the couch instead of eating dinner.  I realized then, as I held my eyelids open, that we needed a change of pace.  We were treating this season like a sprint.  We needed to take a deep breath and accept that we might be here for a marathon. 

That night one of Ms. Connie’s friends who originally connected us with her came to visit and meet our family.  She surprised us with tickets to the local children’s museum.  Wow!  Just what we needed.  A day out of the hospital (at least for part of the day) to enjoy being together as a family.  So, we went to sleep that night with a new plan of action and a fun-filled day ahead!

Day 4: Struggling

Sunday, October 1, 2017:

As much as we wanted to go straight to the hospital and be with Theo, we couldn't due to the quarantine.  We all really needed a break from the hospital.  Ms. Connie had invited us to visit her church, so we decided we would give it a shot.

To our surprise they had the University of Arkansas Gospel Choir visiting!  Our kids had made a game of finding the razorbacks (they might even be the next big fans) and were thrilled with the upbeat music.  It was also a breath of fresh air for Danny who had sung most of the songs when he was in choir in school.  It is amazing what music can do to lift your spirits!

After church, we went to the hospital.  It was my turn to visit Theo, but when I went down I ran into birth mom and birth dad coming for a visit.  My stomach sank and my heart picked up beat.  Fear grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go.  Were they here because they wanted to parent? 

Of course, in my head I know that they have every right to choose to parent.  I also know that they care for him deeply.  Really, who am I so say that I could give him a better life, greater opportunities, or more love?  I can't.  However, in my heart I knew that I was already head-over-heels in love with a four pound little boy down the hall.

I did my best to explain the procedures to them and why he was in quarantine.  It was hard with a mask on my face hiding any facial hints that might have helped.  I went back first with birth mom.  Once she left I was suppose to nurse Theo.  I started not knowing if birth dad planned to come back or not.  Then, birth dad came back for a few minutes.  Over all the visit was short but it seemed like an eternity.

I stayed with Theo for a long time after that just praying for peace.  I wanted to trust God.  I wanted to trust that He was doing far beyond what we could imagine.  I just didn't know that the place He was working might just be in my heart.

To top it off, he nursed just 5mL out of 20.  Five! 

I went back upstairs feeling like a panicked failure to find Poppy wailing and the kids bouncing off the walls. It was raining and they were DONE.  (So was Danny.)  I started cleaning up the remains of lunch and talking to Danny about the encounter.  Now, Danny and I consider ourselves to have a very strong and healthy marriage, but at one point we were cleaning up lunch and we both snapped at each other.  WHOA!  It was a shock to the system.  What was going on?

The more we thought about it the more we realized that neither of us were both working out of our strengths.  I was sitting in quiet, dealing with medical professionals, handling high drama, and health concerns.  Danny was trying to teach the bigs, entertain the littles, feed them all, all while balancing a baby who wanted momma.  We had switched jobs!  Danny isn't a domestic engineer and I am not a chaplain.  We were so stressed and worn out because we weren't using the gifts God had given us. 

As much as I wanted to be the main one down in the NICU, we decided it was best for Danny to take that role and let me care for the littles.  I still went to visit and nurse, of course, but Danny went first to handle any surprises and get the run down from the nurses.  God knew what he was doing when he paired us together ;)

Not a picture of Theo, but it sums up Day 4 quite nicely :)

Day 3: X-ray and Stay Away

Saturday, September 30th:

Over night Theodore made so much progress.  Many answered prayers!  He was able to go to a regular bed without a warmer.  Sadly, he had dropped 3 oz., but that was expected.  Upon closer examination the siblings decided he looked like a little monkey :)  I wouldn't let them hold, but they fought over touching his soft little feet.  He got the hiccups and they shook his whole body!  I got to change his diaper, and it took two nurses to hold him down for an x-ray!

An x-ray?  Extra blood work?  What?!?!  The doctor explained that he might have contracted something from birth and until they could get him cleared he would be in a closed off room and we would have to wear special (suffocating) masks.  Also, no more sibling visits. :(

This news made for a very long day.  I dealt with doctors, nurses, asked tons of questions while Danny tried to keep the kids entertained by taking them to the park down the street and watching the football game. 

While we were taking turns watching the kiddos upstairs at the Ronald McDonald House we met the sweetest people.  They all had sick babies or babies who were born early.  It was great to cheer with those who were getting good reports and pray for those who would be there long after we left.  Even the volunteers were beyond patient with my talkative bunch :) . I think they know more about us than they ever wanted to know.

As a mater of fact, we noticed that each nurse or therapist that was working with Theo spoke of their faith openly when we asked.  Their kindness towards us was unbelievable.  One therapist I met while learning to give baby massage (I think I want to be a baby again just for that.) even wrote out a whole list of activities for kids in the area so we would know where to go for fun.

I just kept rocking and singing and praying.  I also found he has a double crown that makes his hair perfect for a fauxhawk!  Precious!!!

Day 2: Meet the Family!

Friday, September 29th:

After such a late night, all the kids woke up. . . super early, of course!  They were so eager to go meet Theo.  Thankfully, sweet Ms. Connie came to the rescue again.  She had stocked the kitchen with all our favorite breakfast foods.  I have never been loved on by a complete stranger so fully.  I am almost certain she will have a rather large jewel in her crown after ministering to us. 

Unfortunately, we awoke to a phone call from the hospital social worker.  She said there had been some confusion and birth mom had not discharged and we shouldn't have had all the freedoms we had been granted the night before.  However, if we did paperwork when we got there that could be fixed.

I was anxious to get to the hospital.  On one hand I wanted to care for Theo and spend time with him.  On the other hand, I was stricken with nervous fear at the thought of meeting our birth mom.  Up until this time we had only Skyped once and sent a few messages on Facebook.  She doesn't speak any English, so communication had been sparse to say the least. 

My mind was full of so many thoughts:  What if she doesn't like me?  What if the kiddos act out and she thinks I am an unfit parent?  What if, what if, what if.  Let me tell you - if you think you are even an okay parent, try adopting.  You will question everything you ever did.  That birth mom has one final gift to give her child - a family.  The fact that we were deemed fit is humbling and terrifying. 

We arrived at the hospital with the clan and stepped into the NICU to scrub up.  The nurses were so sweet to give us a hand with all our little hands.  They even gave the kids big brother/sister buttons!

We walked out of the scrubbing in area . . . and right into our birth mom!  She had come down to see the baby with the social worker.  We detoured into the family lounge to give her some time alone.  A few minutes later the social worker came back to ask if I wanted to talk to her through a translator on a phone.  Of course, I agreed!

So, here I was sitting in the room on opposite ends of a phone speaking to the woman who has just given me this tremendous gift.  All I could say was "Thank you."  I told her his name and she smiled and gave me a thumbs up.  She didn't have anything to ask or say.  She just smiled.  I will always tell Theo about his mother's smile.

Danny took the kids up to the Ronald McDonald House.  This hospitality house was a lifesaver!  We were allowed in for day use.  It was outfitted with a playroom, living area, and huge kitchen.  The kids could color, do schoolwork, watch movies, and play games.  They served a shared meal each night and had food to fix as needed for breakfast and lunch.  Since we couldn't have all of us spending all day in Theo's room (and who wants to watch 6 kids in an empty waiting room) we found ourselves up there all day most every day.

Finally, the kiddos got to see Theo!  They were all upset at him being in the isolete but were thrilled to finally lay eyes on him.  Juliet gave me the biggest smile and said, "Let's keep him!"  Yes, that was the idea . . . Jonah jumped right into his role as big brother.  He worried about each beep and alarm and wanted to know exactly what each one meant.  I asked Juliet if he was a good baby.  She answered, "Yes, him doesn't cry and him wiggles in him's little cave."

We spent the rest of the day taking turns going down to see.  Oh, wait, no.  I hogged most of the time down with Theo.  It was just so quiet and peaceful . . . and quiet.  I rocked and sang and prayed over that little boy.

Adoption Update: He's Home!!!!

Yes!!!!!  You read that right!  Sweet baby boy has arrived and is with us in Tennessee!!!! (Can one really use too many exclamation marks?)

We began this journey to give all the glory to God and we have seen his hand of peace, provision, wisdom, and beauty in every moment.  Every. Moment.  And I don't want to short change a single one.  I wish that everyone who is following our journey could have lived as flies on the walls for the past two weeks to see it all unfold.  So, I am going to blog it in "real time" in order to share all that transpired without a book length blog entry. :)

Thursday, September 28th:

We had all gotten up early.  Danny had to go into work early and was planning to meet me to handle the kids for a quick appointment before heading into the office for the day.  Since this was the case we were all dressed, fed, and ready to go earlier than usual.  (God orchestrated that, by the way.) I pull into the parking lot where we were to meet and see that Danny is calling.  My mind first thought, "Great.  He isn't going to make it after all and I will have everyone in the doctor's office for my hearing test.  How will I ever pass?"  Instead, I answer to "Congratulations on being a mom again!"  What?!?!  Did that mean . . . ?  Oh, my goodness!  I was over-the-moon excited!!!!  We all cheered and hollered in the van.  The kids asked a million questions that I couldn't answer, but we were all smiles.

We didn't have any details other than a baby was born.  Then my mind started going crazy - packing list? address? food? gender? weight? doing well?  Do I still get my hearing test???  Danny snagged the kids and headed home to pack while I went ahead to my appointment.  What's 15 minutes when we have hours to travel?  We were sent his first picture and found out that he had been born the night before just minutes before midnight.  Then my momma heart really went wild.  He has been here for 8 hours and I haven't gotten to him!  Who is loving on that sweet thing? 

By the time I got home almost everything was packed.  Everyone was eager to get on the road, so they pitched in to help.  We also have amazing neighbors who helped return library books and agreed to get our mail.  I threw my stuff in the suitcase and we were off.  Did we know which hospital? No.  Did we have an address? No.  Details, details, details. 

Side note:  Anyone who knows me knows this is totally not like me.  I even forgot to pack underwear! But, like my momma always says, "There's always a Walmart."

We had beautiful weather the whole drive.  I might have even let Danny go a few over the speed limit.  I think the kids thought Arkansas was a lot closer.  We also were given word that he was only 35 weeks and 4 pounds 4 ounces.  He had been admitted to the NICU.

Backstory: Back in January when we were gearing up for the first adoption, Danny had contacted the churches in the area to find out if any of them had a house we could use while staying in Arkansas.  Through a series of emails we were put in contact with Ms. Connie.  She said we could live in her 3 bedroom, 2 bath house right next to a park and endless sidewalks during our time there.  What a tremendous blessing!!!  The body of Christ in all it's beauty!  God provided beyond what we could have imagined.  We were prepared to share a hotel room and many sleepless nights. 

The trip was nine hours and by the time we arrived it was late, dark, and the kids were done.  Sweet Ms. Connie offered to watch the kiddos (does she know what bedtime is like?) while we went to the hospital to figure out what was going on and meet our little one.

I had a million butterflies in my stomach as we walked in the hospital and made our way to the NICU.  We were told birth mom had already discharged so we went straight to see him. 

And there he was.  Four pounds of absolute perfection. 

Look at that hair!  Oh, and he has dimples.  Be still my heart!

I got to hold him for a bit and breath in that new baby smell.  His little cry was barely audible. At that moment, I was so aware of the fact that I had once again been entrusted with one of God's precious children, one of His image bearers.  And while his name might be Baby Boy on paper, God had always known he would be a Melin.

Welcome to the family, Theodore Graham Melin!